Good Lawdy, Lauren, Is Your Christian Dress Falling Down?

Suz Ex Machina
5 min readOct 26, 2023

…And What Were You Looking for in Quinn Gallagher’s Pants?

Photo by Mika Baumeister on Unsplash

Just when America thought it had a belly full of conspiracy-theories, rabid homophobia, Christian Nationalism, and Shooters — a Hooters-like establishment, with gun slinging gals clad in tight t-shirts and short denim shorts — we get Lauren Boebert in her latest bizarre saga, Theatergate:

Colorado Republican Representative Lauren Boebert will soon be running for office against other Republican candidates and Democrat Adam Frisch, who is a formidable opponent with a hefty war chest of funds. Lauren’s claims to moral high ground have frequently clashed with her own behaviors, and her latest is a real doozy. Let’s hope by the next election she can develop some self-reflection and stop spreading maliciousness towards those she doesn’t understand, and if not, I hope the better man or woman wins. Seriously, anyone has got to be better!

As her next election approaches, I thought it was high time to write Lauren a little note about my thoughts, so here it goes.

Dear Lauren,

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Suz Ex Machina

Unflinching protagonist weaving her life into a story