Before a person can forgive, one must admit the wrongs that were done to them. It is an extremely painful process, and many turn to alcohol, drugs or other self-destructive behaviors instead. Denial can delay the process of self-healing, just as you noted that you did concerning your uncle, which I want to say how deeply sorry I am for your terrible experiences with him.

My point is that if this woman needs to confront her demons to heal, she should, and if it is harsh, it's still better than denial or other self-destructive behaviors.